USBoS, an online grimoire filled with rants, references and personal experiences. Have any sort of interest in Paganism? Tarot? Aromatherapy? Please check out my blog: [link]THIS IS A PAGAN THEMED COMPLAINT! I'll try to explain it in terms everyone can understand, but fundamenatlly, this is a religious based complaint.
In case you weren't aware, I'm an electic Pagan who is a bit of pretty much everything. I mainly work with the Egyptian pantheon, but this past year, the Aztec/Mayan deity Qutzalcoatl/Kukulcan made himself aware to me, revealing himself in a dream.
[link] Since the dream, him and I have been rather close.
When Pagans find thier patron deities, they usually form a tight bond and can "see" them in thier mind's eye, or "feel" them, which is the same thing except without seeing the pysical shape, we feel it. I am one of the types that can feel. So, when I discovered Quetzalcoatl in the waking world, I felt him. He was just like the myths say, a winged serpent with feathers. He usually was flying around, about four-feet in length, a really beautiful green colour. His name was always "Quetzalcoatl", though I would often call him Kukulkan simply because I knew how to pronouce that.
Naturally, I wa excited, so I told my only pagan friend at the time, and she was excited too. Now, she's the type who can "see", instead of "feel". She did not see him as the pretty winged serpent I saw; she saw a distorted sort of figure with an X in his name (and thus gave him the nickname Mr X).
A few weeks ago, this "Mr X" attacked her, which is about all the details I have because she hasn't told me anything else. Now, frankly, I'd like to get this sorted out. Call me crazy, but I like to know what's going on with my own religious beliefs and would very much like to find out if who we are perceiving are the same person/spirit or not, because then I can work on figuring it all out.
Now, I'm not going to just defend Quetzalcoatl, but I'm the one that has worked with him. She knew him in passing, and apparently he attacked after she critized him to a friend (again, she was being fuzzy on the details). From what/who I've worked with, Quetzalcoatl was more than okay with people critizing him. Hell, him and I would talk about it endlessly. He was not about to "smite" anyone for saying bad things about him; he was used to everyone in his family/pantheon being called savage and things like that because of human sacrifice (which, as all the mythos says, Quetzalcoatl didn't like). He was often called an "alien" in movies and conspiracy theories, and he was more than alright with that.
Hell, I'm pretty sure I've insulted him a couple times!
So, what I'm trying to figure out, with very little help from anyone, is who is this Mr X? Is he the same entity that I'm perceiving or not, because, I'm going to be honest, they aren't at all alike from what I know.
Yes, I'm fully aware that entities can shape shift, but here's another thing: When working with spirits, if they are "good" or who they say they are, they will have no qualms with more-or-less proving it to you, or even leaving if you ask them too. Ones who are lying will get upset. I've had this happen before(that's another story, ask if you want to hear). So far, Quetzalcoatl has always been rather open and honest. He has told me things about my past that involved him--stuff I had pretty much forgotten.
All my friend told me was to keep my little flower fariy Leiko close by. She is like the traffic controller of my room. She is small and delicate, but she likes to be in control of who (spirit wise) is allowed in my room. So, yes, I have to do a bit of inquiring to Leiko when I'm not so upset/overwhelmed, or have one of my other Pagan friends work with me (none are online at the moment, which is making me crazy).
I'm not as pissed at the fact that the patron deity I've been working with for six months or so isn't who he says he is, because I can get into contact with the "real" Quetzalcoatl if I wanted to, plus I do have some other deities and spirits that like to hang out with me (right now, for example, Thoth is around. I think he's sitting on the couch actually. That would be why I'm so wordy). What is really pissing me off and making me overwhelmed is that she isn't telling me anything. Her computer is broken, and when I asked her about it for the few minutes she was online, all she said was "Mr X isn't who he says he is". Well, I'm not meeting with any "Mr X", you are.
It just bugs me that, first you drop this bomb on me that you're being spiritually attacked, and that I can't/shouldn't do any sort of work that could "open me up" (rituals for Yule, tarot reading, ect), then you don't try to work it out, at all? I'm sorry, but until you and I can really talk about this, then your "Mr X" is a different spirit than my "Quetzalcoatl".
Seriously, innocent until proven guilty in my book.
Anyway, thanks for putting up with this rant. I'm super pissed that no one is telling me anything and that I'm in the dark about this all.
Gee Thanks For That RESOLVED! and Christmas Wishes 
Glad
Overwhelmed
Alarmed
), and eventually a plushie Frank and Dave. (Dave will be in an orange spacesuit FTW). 
Hysterical
)
Lmao
! 
